Middle Earth Community School
by Tigs
Summary: An AU fic, in which the Fellowship are in secondary school (based on UK Education system). Frodo delights in annoying Headmaster Sauron, Gimli is best friends with Faramir, Aragorn & Legolas are goths... scared yet?
1. Chapter 1

******  
  
Middle Earth Community School  
by TigerBabe  
  
******  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am but a poor student who lives off beans on toast. Dont sue, unless you wish to deprive me of my beans on toast, and thus starve me.  
  
Warnings: Some mild language... but apart from that, nothing much... oh, a hung over Elf, does that need a warning?  
  
Authors Notes: Yes, I know I'm strange - I'm the first to admit it. And so, in an alternate universe, it happened that the Fellowship were all much younger, and happened to be in secondary school. This alternate universe also has lots of things that we have in our universe. Dont complain about it. This is based on the British education system, which, by the way, sucks soooo badly. It starts half way through the school year.   
  
Just a quick run through of ages and years of the Fellowship:  
  
Gandalf - Ancient, Teacher.  
Aragorn - 16 years old, in year 11.  
Legolas - 16 years old, in year 11.  
Boromir - 15 years old, in year 11.  
Gimli - 15 years old, in year 10.  
Frodo - 15 years old, in year 10.  
Sam - 14 years old, in year 9.  
Merry - 14 years old, in year 9.  
Pippin - 13 years old, in year 9.  
  
Can I also state, that the description of "Shire Estate" is a description of my own estate... not all council estates are like this!!!  
  
******  
  
Chapter 1  
  
******  
  
Pippin, for some unforseen reason, was in a bad mood. It could have had something to do with the fact he'd slept in, and had to miss breakfast, or possibly it had more to do with the fact his homework was due for English, Maths, Science, French, Geography... well, you get the picture. Pippin isnt the most well organised Hobbit on the face of Middle Earth, but he tries his best.  
  
And so it was, with a cold poptart in his hand, he left his house and went on his way to school via his cousin Merry's house, which was just around the corner on the same estate, which the council had decided to name "Shire Estate," because apparently, before they bulldozed the area, there was a beautiful shire filled with green grass and tall trees, and beautiful gardens. Unfortunately, when the council went ahead with their new estate plan, they totally ruined it. Now, the area was filled with annoying children and even worse parents.  
  
Merry was actually in a fantastic mood compared to Pippin; he only had detention for the rest of the week, and then he was free to do whatever he wanted after school. The doorbell rang, and off Merry went, grabbing his coat and bag as he ran toward the front door.  
  
"Hey Pip," he said as he closed the door behind him. His parents had already left earlier in the morning for work, and had left him behind as usual. He didnt have to go to school - his parents would probably never notice; but he did so all the same, because at least there, he wouldnt be bored out of his skull... except in Gandalf's class.  
  
"Got everythin'?" Pippin asked as he turned to walk down the drive with his cousin.  
  
"Yup, sure have," Merry replied. They headed off toward their school, Middle Earth Community School.  
  
------  
  
"Bloody hell, YES, for the hundredth time, I'm up!" Frodo cried down the stairs at his Uncle, whom he lived with. Frodo's parents had died when he was little in a boating accident. Apparently there'd been a misunderstanding, which lead to Drogo (that's Frodo's father) thinking it would be safe to have a BBQ in the boat.  
  
As soon as Frodo's Uncle Bilbo stopped yelling, and seemed to believe that Frodo was up, the said young Hobbit pulled his covers back over his head, and closed his eyes in an attempt to get more sleep, however much in vain it may seem. Another 5 minutes passed, and Bilbo opened the door to Frodo's room, finding the 15 year old snoring quietly in his bed.  
  
Bilbo did what any normal person would do in this situation - he grabbed the covers, and pulled them off the bed.  
  
"GET UP!" he shouted at Frodo.  
  
The sudden freshness of the air around him caused Frodo to sit bolt upright and proclaim, "I wasnt asleep! I was just resting my eyes..."  
  
"Sure, now get ready, you're going to be late for school!" Bilbo stated quite angrily. He picked up Frodo's school uniform, and threw it at him. Frodo, who was clad only in his boxers, caught the clothes fairly well, considering he was half asleep.  
  
Bilbo smirked at his work; he seemed to have got Frodo to wake up. He turned and walked out the room.  
  
As soon as his bedroom door was closed, Frodo stuck his middle finger up in the direction in which his Uncle had left.  
  
With an exaspirated sigh, Frodo crossed his legs, and leaned over to his CD player, and hit the on button. The sounds of Linkin Park's 'One Step Closer' began to pulsate around the room. Frodo then slid to the end of his bed to get dressed.  
  
As if on cue, as soon as the chorus started, Frodo heard shouts from downstairs of "Turn that racket off!" Muttering something about how uncles dont have any musical taste, he leaned over again, and turned the volume up. To drown out the sound of shouts from downstairs, you see.  
  
Frodo was quickly dressed and running out the door with about 5 minutes til school started.  
  
------  
  
Boromir was on his way to school, having left his younger brother Faramir in the house, still getting ready - he could be really vain sometimes, y'know? Just because he has a girlfriend... Boromir muttered something about damn love struck idiot brothers, but was pulled out of his train of thought by a short dumpy fellow running up to him shouting "Boromir, Boromir!"  
  
Boromir rolled his eyes, "What is it, Gimli?" he asked.   
  
"Where's Faramir?" the Dwarf asked quizzically.  
  
"Do I look like his keeper to you?" Boromir threw his hands in the air before walking off. He was quite sick of having the year 10's coming up to him constantly and asking if they knew where his damn brother was. How should he know? It's not like they spoke at all anyway...  
  
"Pfft, well excuse me for asking," Gimli turned to walk away from him, but soon realised that that was pointless, as they were both heading in the same direction.  
  
They got to school just before Merry and Pippin, and went to assembly ontime.  
  
------  
  
Merry and Pippin finally reached the school gates at 8:45am, only to be informed by Sam who had been waiting for them, that they were supposed to be in an all school assembly. Being late for assembly means being made to stand on the stage, and have the rest of the school snigger at you, as well as the manditory dinner time detention, and sometimes after school.  
  
And so, with the speed only a Hobbit with the threat of detention during *dinner* break could, they ran like the wind to the main hall.  
  
Luckily, Sauron the headmaster was late, and they just made it in time. So did Frodo, much to his own disappointment.   
  
Frodo always loved to arrive late for assembly, and to flick Sauron off before taking a seat in the back. Of course, this *always* seriously pissed the headmaster off, but it was fun to see the fire in his eyes.  
  
When Sauron finally did arrive, he scanned the pupils assembled quickly, looking for the human and the Elf who were *never* on time.  
  
With an esasperated sigh, he gave up, and asked, "Where, pray tell, are Legolas and Aragorn?"  
  
A few shrugs and "I dunno's" from the crowd were all he got, and all he ever got. So, he turned to his assistant Saruman, and said "Phone their flat, tell them that if they dont get their asses' in school in the next half hour, I'm expelling them."  
  
It was an empty threat - he used it very, very often, but no-one in the history of Middle Earth Community School were kicked out. Some of them had gone missing... sure, but none had been actually kicked out.  
  
And so, Saruman went off to his office, and picked up the phone to dial the number Legolas and Aragorn had provided when they moved out of their care homes when they turned 16.  
  
------  
  
In Legolas and Aragorn's flat, the ringing served as a wake up call for the human and the Elf, who were extremely hung over, and had camped out in the bathroom for the night.  
  
Legolas heard the phone first; one of the problems with his Elven hearing, was that when hung over, it tripled, and thus a mouse scampering across the carpet in the 3rd flat above him could be heard loud and clear. And, as with hangovers, loud noises = bad.  
  
On the first tone of the phone, the blonde Elf heaved up in the toliet, which he had been sleeping over due to the activities of the night before.  
  
Of course, the sound of Legolas throwing up, woke Aragorn, who had crashed out in the bath tub. Aragorn groaned loudly as he moved.  
  
"Oooohhh, my back" he moaned. Sleeping in the bathtub had evidently been crossed off the list of places where Aragorn would sleep.  
  
"Please..." Legolas whimpered, "no loud noises, or sudden movements... or bright lights..."   
  
Aragorn sniggered slightly, as he lifted himself out of the tub. "You okay?" he asked his Elven friend as he placed a hand on Legolas's back, and rubbed it gently.  
  
Legolas turned to face him, "What you do think?" Legolas lifted himself slowly, "Argh, now I remember why Elves dont drink..."  
  
Aragorn sniggered some more. And then he remembered the phone.  
  
"Shit, phone!" he legged it out the bathroom, and scrambled around the livingroom to find the phone. It was still ringing luckily; Saruman had found that it sometimes took up to and including 50 rings for the inhabitants of the flat to answer.  
  
"What?" Aragorn asked quickly, as he picked up the phone.  
  
"Hello Aragorn, this is Saruman, calling on behalf of Sauron the headmaster. Are you aware of the time?" Saruman's voice asked with a snide tone.  
  
"Uhh... time I were in school?" Aragorn ventured.  
  
"Damn right it is, and Legolas too - Sauron says that if you two dont get your backsides here fast, you're out of this school."  
  
"Okily," Aragorn said, putting on his sugar sweet voice, "I'll be right there, you see, unfortunately, my alarm clock was broken last night - one of the neighbours was over and accidently stood on it..."   
  
"I dont want your lame excuses, Aragorn, I want you in school NOW!" Saruman shouted.  
  
Aragorn quickly pulled the reciever from his ear to make sure he didnt go deaf. "Righty-ho, on my way!" Aragorn quickly slammed down the phone and went back into the bathroom.  
  
"Well, that was the lovely Headmasters assistant Saruman on the phone, I think he wants us in school... now?" Aragorn said, as he pulled Legolas through and into the livingroom.   
  
They quickly got dressed, in their version of the school uniform, which involved alot more black than was compulsary, and a few more chains and make-up too. Legolas quickly made time to change his lip and tongue piercings, so he had a spider through his tongue, and a ring through his lip, and then they were off. They didnt bother with bags, nor pens or pencils.   
  
They took their time as they walked, commenting on various things, such as trees, and houses, and walls, and interesting patterns chewing gum had made on the pavement.   
  
They finally reached the school at about 9:30am - which all things considered, was quite early for them. Unfortunately, it wasnt early enough for Sauron, who was rather annoyed at the two rebellious students.  
  
And so, he called on them using the intercom as soon as he saw them enter the building.  
  
"Would Legolas Greenleaf and Aragorn Elessar report to the Headmasters room at once!"  
  
Legolas and Aragorn looked at eachother, and did what they usually did in these circumstances. Went to class.  
  
******  
  
TBC... if you want me to! Review, and tell me what you think - is it worth carrying on?  
  
Some extra notes:  
  
Frodo's morning habits are exactly like mine were when I was in school...  
  
Legolas's appearance is based on mine, though I dont have my lip pierced anymore *sulks* damn father threatened to kick me out if I didnt take it out... pah, shoulda kept it...  
  
Aragorn Elessar... I used Elessar as his surname, because, quite frankly, I dont think Aragorn had a *real* surname... if he does, pleeeaassseee let me know. 


	2. Chapter 2

******  
  
Middle Earth Community School  
by TigerBabe  
  
******  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am but a poor student who lives off beans on toast. Dont sue, unless you wish to deprive me of my beans on toast, and thus starve me.  
  
Warnings: Mild language, but could get a little worse... I am basing this school on a real school, y'know. 'Tis also in an AU.  
  
Authors Notes: Ooohh, so you liked that did you? Ah, I'm glad :)) I'm actually writing this in place of Fellowship Of The Fangirls, because I've lost my copy of the Two Towers, and I cant remember exactly what happens next... I'll probably end up downloading an eBook for reference. I also promise you that there'll be more interaction between the guys, and that there'll be more funny, strange and some down right weird things happening. This is school, afterall.  
  
Telcontar! Yes, now I remember... but Aragorn in my story isnt king, so I'll keep it as Elessar for his surname - thanks for letting me know, though!  
  
I would also like to say that I absolutely love Keanu Reeves, and that any nasty remarks made by any cute little accident prone Glasgwegian Hobbits are totally not of my opinion... they're just funny, thas' all.  
  
******  
  
Chapter 2  
  
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When arriving at class half an hour late, it's usually a good idea to sneek in quietly. Usually. For Aragorn and Legolas, arriving just half an hour late is more like half an hour early. And so, they walked into class as normal, taking seats in the back, chatting and ignoring what the teacher was saying.  
  
Boromir greeted them, as he'd been saving them seats, just incase they showed up.  
  
"Hey, your early," Boromir said as they flopped down into their seats, and put their feet up on the table.  
  
"Yeah, got a phone call from Saruman; woke me up, bloody ponce," Legolas muttered as he searched through his pockets to see if he had any cigerettes, matches, money, or any other of the things it was impossible to get through the day without.  
  
"And the sound of you puking your guts up woke me up," said Aragorn, "What the hell did you drink last night anyway?"  
  
"Uhh, I know I had a few glasses of Southern Comfort, and at least one shot of Vodka... but I dont think that was it... maybe some red wine aswell," Legolas said, "Ah ha, victory!" he exclaimed as he pulled out a packet of cigerettes and a box of matches. "Want one?" he offered to his friends.  
  
"Yeah, go on then," Aragorn said taking a cigerette with a nod of thanks.  
  
"'bout you?" Legolas looked up at Boromir.  
  
"I dont smoke, Legolas," Boromir told him. Legolas always asked the same question ever day, and Boromir always answered the same. The Man was getting quite tired of having to repeat himself all the time.  
  
"Ah yes, now I remember, Mr.I-Dont-Smoke-Because-It's-Wrong," Legolas lit up, dispite the shouts from the teacher about not smoking in class. Those words were heard often, and never heeded.  
  
Suddenly, Legolas found all the eyes in the classroom on him.  
  
"Uh, what?" he asked, as he glanced around nervously.  
  
"I just asked you what class you're in, Mr. Greenleaf," Celeborn, the teacher asked with a smirk.  
  
"Uhhmm... history?" Legolas ventured, an innocent look on his face.  
  
Legolas cursed under his breath as Aragorn whispered, "You dont take history, Legolas," in an amused voice.  
  
"Wrong, you're in Maths, Legolas, thats detention dinner time for you," Celeborn told him.  
  
Legolas shrugged, and turned his attention back to his human friends. He was always given detention, by various teachers throughout the day - he never went to any though. He only ever went to detention once, and that was because he made the mistake of trying to sneek past Gandalf's classroom while the door was wide open, and he was supposed to be in there writing 1000 lines of "I will not shoot arrows at passing cars while practicing archery."  
  
------  
  
Meanwhile, the year 9 classes were taking part in PE. Sam was stuck on the same football (thats soccer, for the Americans reading) team as Merry and Pippin. Any team stuck with Merry and Pippin was doomed to failure, as the two cousins constantly broke the rules, and were always tripping up members of the opposite team. Of course, this was all very well, except for the fact that they also sometimes tripped up members of the same team, and the ref, causing their own team to lose really badly.  
  
Sam, deciding that he didnt want to face the shame of being on the losing team with Merry and Pippin, allowed himself to be tripped by Pippin in the first 2 minutes. And of course, he went down like a sack of shi.. potatoes.   
  
Sam was also in drama classes, and knew how to act. Cries of "Ooohh, the pain, the agony, I'm dying!" were heard all over the school, and the sounds of "Sounds like Sam Gamgee is playing football again," echoed around the classrooms.  
  
Pippin for good measure, kicked Sam again as he was reeling around on the floor.  
  
"Gerrup! Yer a terrible actor, tha' Keanu Reeves can act better tha' you!" Pippin shouted at him.  
  
Sam, being the mature 14 year old that he was - the oldest in his year, had he been bored a month earlier, he'd have been in year 10 - stuck his tongue out at Pippin, before resuming his acting.  
  
The PE teacher, Haldir took pity on Sam. He knew that the little Hobbit was acting like he was after an Oscar, but he couldnt help but let Sam get away with it.  
  
"Okay Sam, go sit on the side lines; you can keep an eye out to make sure no-one's off-side or anything," Haldir told him.  
  
Sam then jumped up to his feet, perfectly fine, and jogged over to the side of the pitch.  
  
Merry scowled in his direction, "Bloody teachers pet, thas' what he is."  
  
------  
  
Frodo and Gimli were in art class. Their teacher, Galadriel, was in the middle of one of her lengthy speeches about how paintings should be an extension of you, how they should flow with your emotions, and all that crap. Out of the 50 minute lesson, the pupils probably only ever got 10 or 15 minutes of work done, thanks to Galadriel's speeches.   
  
Frodo busied himself by sketching some of his friends; The cute young Hobbit was quite a talented artist, and could do sketches that looked almost photographic. He especially liked doing comics though, which always starred his friends. He also liked to draw pictures of them all dressed as if they were super heros, and as if they were of different species. Legolas hadnt been to happy when Frodo presented him with a drawing of what the Hobbit thought the Elf would look like if he were human - the mohawk was what upset Legolas the most.  
  
Right now though, he was doing a sketch for Gimli, who was currently staring starry-eyed at the teacher. The Dwarf had a particularly bad crush on Galadriel, and had asked Frodo to draw him and the teacher making out. Considering the fact that Gimli weighed twice as much as him, Frodo decided it was best that he didnt refuse. And so, he sat, and sketched. He was so caught up in his work, that he didnt notice the lady approach him.  
  
"Frodo Baggins, what *ARE* you drawing?!" Galadriel cried out as she examined the drawing.  
  
"Well, this is you," he pointed at a very well done picture of a half naked female Elf on the piece of paper, "And this is Gimli," Frodo looked up with a grin, "Like it?"  
  
Galadriel was not pleased. "No I do *NOT* like it! It's disgusting, I mean... me and a Dwarf?! Please! I'm an Elf of high standards!"  
  
Frodo shrugged and moved to continue his sketch, only to find the paper being pulled from his hand.  
  
"This is going in the bin!" Galadriel announced as she tore up the paper.  
  
Frodo sighed; sometimes, people just dont appreciate his talent.  
  
------  
  
At break time, the group gathered in the carpark, which was infront of the school. Legolas sighed as he noticed that to get to the rest of the gang, he and Aragorn would have to walk past a group of girls, who always pointed at him and shouted stuff like "My *GOD* he's hot," and "Whatcha doin' later, Legolas?!?!"  
  
As they got level with the girls, one of the quieter ones approached, and whispered quietly, "Hi Legolas."  
  
Legolas smirked, noticing the fact that she was blushing profusely, and seemed to be extremely embarrassed about going up to him like this. Aragorn noticed the look on his friends face and shook his head as if to say, "Dont do it Legolas!" But of course, the young Elf had set his mind to it, and wasnt going to be diswaded.  
  
"Whats your name?" he asked the girl, as he moved to the side of her, taking her hand in his, and kissing it lightly.  
  
The girls eyes widened, "J-jules," she replied. She almost forgot to breathe as Legolas slipped his arm around her waist.  
  
"Well Jules," he whispered huskily in her ear, "Are you having fun?" he let his hand trail down her spine lower and lower.  
  
Aragorn at this point had made it over to the rest of the group, and was trying to hide his amusement along with the rest of the gang at what Legolas was doing.  
  
Jules gulped, and nodded.  
  
Legolas smirked, and said "How 'bout now?" He trailed his tongue down her jaw line, causing Jules to go weak at the knees. Then, he kissed her quickly on the cheek, and let go of her. Then, he walked off casually as if nothing had happened, though the grin was still fixed on his face.  
  
Jules, at the loss of Legolas's arms holding her up, fell onto the floor as her legs gave out. All her friends came running over to ask if she was okay.  
  
"That was CRUEL Legolas!" Aragorn said, with a snigger.  
  
"Yup, but I'm a cruel person," Legolas replied, before digging around in his pocket for his cigerettes.  
  
The whole gang was there - Legolas, Aragorn, Boromir, Gimli, Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin. The Hobbits were sitting on the steps leading up to the main entrance of the school, smoking away while chatting about their lessons. Gimli was asking Boromir where his brother was, which was a very bad idea, because such conversations with Boromir usually end up in the said man shouting about the fact that he is not Faramir's keeper. Legolas and Aragorn on the other hand, were playfully arguing about Legolas's cruelty, though Aragorn was only complaining because he figured that *someone* should.   
  
Legolas finally pulled out his beloved packet of cigerettes, and his box of matches, and lit up. He took a deep breath, and then blew the smoke out in the face of a passing girl.  
  
"So," he said, effectively changing the subject and getting everyone attention, "Who's up for a party tonight?"  
  
Various cries of "Yeah!" "Cool!" and "I'll be there!" were heard from the gathered friends. Legolas nodded, and then said "Okay, bring some booze, and you're in."  
  
The tone rapidly changed to "Uhh, well I'm broke," and "Actually, I dont think my parents will let me go..."  
  
"Tough, you've all already said you're coming - bring some booze!" Legolas said, finishing off his cigerette surprisingly fast, and flicking it at a passing teacher.  
  
As if on cue, the bell rang, signalling that break was over. The Hobbits quickly ran for their lessons, as did Gimli, but the Human's and the Elf walked slowly. They had a reputation to uphold - what would happen if it got round school that they were actually arriving on time to class?!  
  
******  
  
TBC... 


End file.
